That's the Way I Loved You
by GGAddict129
Summary: Lily reflects on her love for Rufus and her marriage to Bart Bass.


**That's the Way I Loved You**

**Characters and Song are not mine(: **

**Read, Enjoy, and feel free to offer any comments/suggestions/criticisms. **

**Thank you.  
**

_He is sensible and so incredible. _

Bart Bass was a business man through and through. He knew the right things to say and the right things to do. He was what a woman would define as perfect.

_All my single friends are jealous_

Why, just the other day Eleanor Waldorf commented how lucky I was to have scored a Bass. Bass was a name that went a long way in New York city. Everybody knew who the name Bass.

_He says everything I need to hear and it's like I couldn't ask for anything better. _

He's kind to my children. Unlike the other husbands I've had, he wants them to be included in our lives. He wants Chuck to be my son. He wants Eric to be his son and Serena to be his daughter. He wants us to be a family. A real family. What could be better than that? He was there on Christmas, spending it with us at the Palace.

_He opens up my door and I get into his car and he says "you look beautiful tonight"._

He goes through all the motions. All the motions to make him a perfect companion. He's a gentleman. He fawns over me and adores me.

_And I feel perfectly fine_

I am content.

_But I miss screamin' and fightin'. _

Rufus and I always fight. We always banter back and forth. We bicker as if we're an old married couple.

_And kissin' in the rain_

It was on our third official date that we shared our first kiss in the rain. It had been a disastrous date. To prove to me that he was worthy of me, he had taken me to a very luxurious restaurant. The kind you don a tux for. The whole thing was a catastrophe! By the end of the meal, he had managed to spill his drink down my dress, accidentally trip the waiter, and get in a little fight with the man at the next table that had called me "a hot piece of ass." (Even in classy restaurants, he people aren't always classy.) It had been terrible. However, it had also probably been one of the best nights of my life. It was cute how he profusely apologized for ruining my dress (my little black Oscar de La Renta dress as a matter of fact) and for getting us "escorted" out of the restaurant. He thought he had embarrassed me and we had begun walking away from the restaurant and he was silent. Suddenly it began to poor and he mumbled, "Great. Another thing to make this date terrible." I turned to him and said, "You thought it was terrible?" "…I blew it. I wanted to make this a perfect date to show you that I like you and it was completely disaster…." I interrupted him and pulled him in to me and kissed him lightly at first, but it gradually grew more passionate. When we finally broke apart he had replied, "That was unexpected."

"I had a great time tonight," I said with a smile and leaned in to kiss him again. This was the night I officially started developing feelings for Rufus Humphrey.

_It's 2am and I'm cursing you name. _

Bart was asleep next to me and I glanced at the clock and it was 2 o'clock in the morning. More and more often I had been finding it hard to sleep. Especially after that encounter when he saw me in that dress when Jenny came to pick something up. My thoughts were always come back to Rufus. "Damn you Rufus!" I kept thinking.

_You're so in love that you act insane _

We had such crazy times together. Things I would not want my children to know I did. Things I couldn't imagine doing with anyone else. We had done romantic, silly things like watching the sunset on the beach. And crazy, spontaneous things like skinny dipping in Syata Lita. Things I wouldn't want to do with anybody else.

_And that's the way I loved you. _

I wouldn't want Rufus to be any different than he is. He was already perfect in my eyes.

_Breakin' down and coming undone_

With Rufus I was completely unglued. I was up for anything because I knew that he wouldn't ever want to put me in harm's way and god forbid I was, he'd keep me safe. I could do anything when I was with him. I was on top of the world.

_It's a roller coaster kind of rush_

You know the feeling when you know aren't going to fall off the roller coaster, but you're still scared to?

_And I never knew I could feel that much and that's the way I loved you_

I'd never known how amazing love could be until Rufus came into my love. Heck, I hadn't even known the definition.

_He respects my space and never makes me wait and calls exactly when he says he will_

Bart always knew the right motions. It was predictable.

_He's close with my mother and talks business with my father_

Well, my mother loved any man that was a high society money mogul. She fawned over men like Bart Bass. My father was into business. If he had been alive he would've loved talking with Bart and picking apart his brain.

_He's charming and endearing and I'm comfortable. _

Comfort was the perfect would to describe Bart and my marriage.

_He can't see the smile that I'm faking _

He doesn't even realize I'm in love with someone else.

_And my heart's not breaking 'cause I'm not feeling anything at all. _

I don't feel passion with Bart. It's just, like I said, a comfortable and convenient relationship. He doesn't make my heart pound in my ears or give me any butterflies. It's more like friendship with a title.

_And you were wild and crazy. Just so frustrating, so intoxicating, complicated. _

There never was dull moment with Rufus and I.

_Got away by some mistake and now I miss screamin' and fightin' and kissin' in the rain. It's 2am and I'm cursing your name. You're so in love that you act insane and that's the way I love you. _

If Bart Bass is so perfect for me, why doesn't it feel, right? Why do I miss Rufus? Why do I find myself thinking of him constantly? The little things reminding me of him. I miss him. Bart is the perfect person for me, but I'm in love with another man. I'm in love with Rufus Humphrey.

**The Song is "Thats the Way I loved you" by Taylor Swift. **

**So thoughts... ? :D I think I'm going to start doing these kind of things because so many songs remind me of Rufus/Lily. 3  
**


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